Song of Lambs
by mo and rockey
Summary: "Mama always told me that fate was an exposed stone - we can try to keep it from changing, but the world will always find some way to wear it down into what it was always meant to be. Me? I'm meant to find something greater than what I am. I'm meant to be swallowed by the mountains, to lose my name under the roar of white water. I must blaze a path through the heart of the sky."


**(A reposting from my alternate account, Suggestive Wiggling.)**

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**Song of Lambs**

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"_Curiosity kills."_

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She hadn't waited for nightfall. The thing itself was too terrible to hide from God's eyes; the act too vicious and dirty to hide in the black of night. No, whatever was above wanted her to see exactly what she was doing. The cherub sun was a golden knot in a cornflower sky, the birds' chorusing call echoing through the sparse branches. With her black-as-pitch coat and hastened tread, Di looked like a wayward shadow fleeing the invasive sunlight. _My sunlight._ Her head bowed to her slender chest at the thought.

_There is no sunlight for the damned. _

It had been the most difficult act Di had ever committed in her comfortable kittypet existence. After hours of screeching pain – pain more than she'd ever experienced, like swallowing her own claws – she'd been left shivering, alone, bleeding, _hopeless_. Three bundles of fur lay, motionless, drenched in crimson. Their little lungs were cold, congealed with fluid; their hearts would never beat. They may have never beaten at all.

Di wanted to die on the spot. Her body burnt out from stress, her mind blank with exhaustion and grief – drowning in the scent of cold, lifeless abandon. After all that suffering and spilt blood, and she was left with nothing.

Well, not nothing.

There was one. One kit who survived the entrance into the dark world.

At first, she hadn't moved at all. Di had been scared she was dead, like the rest. But after a moment, the she-kit's button nose twitched once and she coughed. Her lungs expanded with bright, fresh air.

Di expanded with bright, fresh purpose.

There was no time to bury the others. Di scooped up the quaking scrap of fur and staggered off into the trees without looking back.

Smelt had been surprised to see her. Di had almost laughed at the white queen's open mouth and wide eyes.

"For God's sake, Di!" Smelt dropped to the ground in front of her, looking more frantic than Di had ever seen her. "You look like death. What happened?"

In response, Di nudged the blood-soaked kitten.

"Oh Hell…"

"I know, Smelt, I know—"

"When were you going to tell me this?" Her eyes burned. Smelt was angry – Smelt was _never _angry. "Whose is it, then? Fire? Samuel? Is it _Luther? _Oh Hell, don't you _dare _say it's Luther—"

"_Enough, _Smelt. _Enough._"

Smelt stopped and looked at her. Di had been her friend for years, since they'd been kittens, splashing in the river shallows until they were big enough to take the current. Di had always been the strong one. She'd been the one to teach her to climb a tree, how to fight off raccoons. She'd been there with Smelt every step of her kitting; Di had been the first to see her son Caz, and lick him until he breathed.

But now here she was… bloody, broken, looking like the merest breath of wind would do her in. With a _kit. _

Di needed her friend to be strong for her. She needed Smelt.

The white queen tentatively laid her tail on her friend's sweat-dried shoulders. Di sighed, though it sounded more akin to a shudder, relaxing against Smelt's lean chest. Smelt's delicate rumble filled her bones and consumed her body; lifting her, holding her above the dark void threatening to swallow her.

There are times in any friendship where you don't need words. Words clutter things; make certain moments far more complicated then they need be. This was one of those moments.

It ended as quickly as it came, though; with a small, muffled mewl exuding from the shivering ball of blood-caked kitten fur.

The black she-cat closed her eyes, almost refusing to look upon her daughter. "Smelt… I don't think I can do this."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't… I can't take her."

"What? No, you _have_ to. She's yours."

"My Twolegs won't let me keep her. And Fire will hurt her."

"Maybe he won't."

"You _know _he will."

"Maybe he'll change his mind about wanting kits," Smelt answered weakly.

Her friend pulled away just enough for her to see her sneer. "We _are _talking about the same tom here, right? Don't you remember the _last _time I did something he didn't like? I got the pulp beaten out of me. Couldn't walk for a week."

"Di, I know what you're about to ask… and you _know _I _can't._"

"Smelt, _please_—"

"Diana!"

"What am I supposed to do? Let my Twolegs take her? Watch Fire scar her up before she can even walk? Luster will tell Luther and then the whole Neighborhood will be out for my pelt. I can't do that! I _can't, _Smelt, and you know why. You were the one who _taught _me. She's my daughter, I have to protect her."

"But… but what about us?" Smelt was thankful her kits were sleeping, as she was pretty close to shaking. "What about you and me? Our friendship? You leave her here – I'll never see you again."

Diana's shoulders dropped and her head hung. She suddenly looked very old.

"I don't have a choice."

Smelt felt like the entire world had been dropped on her head. Her chest wanted to expand until it exploded and she'd scream her miseries until she'd be nothing but an empty skin. _It's not fair. _

But there wasn't a choice.

"You… you at least have to name her," She stared at her paws as though they might hold some unspoken answer to all their problems. "It wouldn't be right for me to do it."

Di glanced at her friend, and was immediately filled with a renewed sense of grief. With her tiny bones and soft, creamy fur, Smelt looked as tiny as a kit herself. How unfair it was to her, Di thought to herself; left here all alone with no one looking out for her, her best friend putting all this responsibility on her. And then just leaving her there.

Alone.

Diana looked down at her daughter.

"Kamu." Her voice was raspy with emotion, though her eyes betrayed nothing. "Her name is Kamu."


End file.
